Friday, June 18, 2010
4:08 AM
Colorforms & The Great Green Stamp Incident of '66
Colorforms came with a colorful scene and several magnetized pieces of rubber that you used to create any picture you wanted to create. The possibilities were endless and unlike drawing or coloring, Colorforms offered you the opportunity to start over as many times as you wanted without using up any expensive tools. When you got bored with one picture, you just pulled it right off and started a new one. Because they were magnetized rather than being sticky on the back, they would restick thousands of times before they wore out. They were a lot of fun and I felt very lucky to get them after seeing them used on Romper Room for so many years. I thought they were quite the extraordinary treasure. I loved these. I mean like, I REALLY loved these. My first Colorforms were Disney characters and I couldn't find pics of that particular set but this pic should give you the general idea. The first time I ever saw these used was on Romper Room, only I didn't know at that time, what they were called. Every day, the teacher would make a weather picture on the show and she did that by taking various little rubber, colorful shapes and putting them up on a board. They looked so cool and I couldn't figure out how she got them to stick up there because she didn't use tape, glue, or anything else I knew of that would make those little shapes stay up on the colorful board so easily. I wanted to make a picture like she did SO badly that I could barely stand it. However, my parents didn't get me my first Colorforms until later in elementary school so I had to wait quite awhile. I tried to create my own with various futile things around the house but of course, it never worked.
And that lead to one of the darkest, yet in hindsight, funniest days of my preschool years. LOL
My dad had a huge bowling trophy that was covered with a lot of shiny glass. To this day, I'm not sure why that triggered my Colorforms love in my little head but it did and I stupidly came up with the idea of pretending to make a Romper Room weather picture using that trophy. All I needed for my project was some small, shapely things that were sticky on back so they would stick like the shapes on television did. (And this is where my plan went REALLY wrong) After looking around for a bit I came upon some Green Stamps that my mom had not yet licked and transferred into the books. I determined those would work perfectly for my little weather picture adventure so off to the hall (where the trophy was being displayed at the time) I went. I had a big time that afternoon. I did my very best Romper Room teacher impression. I used those stamps to pretend I was putting up a sun, some clouds, etc. and then I pretended to be dressing my little make-believe character in fun clothes suitable for a day of playing out in the sun just like I had seen it done on Romper Room. Before long, I had covered that entire trophy with Green Stamps so I was forced to move on and find something else to do with my day because those stamps wouldn't come off and then restick. Once I had filled up all of the available space, the game had to come to an end.
My dad had a huge bowling trophy that was covered with a lot of shiny glass. To this day, I'm not sure why that triggered my Colorforms love in my little head but it did and I stupidly came up with the idea of pretending to make a Romper Room weather picture using that trophy. All I needed for my project was some small, shapely things that were sticky on back so they would stick like the shapes on television did. (And this is where my plan went REALLY wrong) After looking around for a bit I came upon some Green Stamps that my mom had not yet licked and transferred into the books. I determined those would work perfectly for my little weather picture adventure so off to the hall (where the trophy was being displayed at the time) I went. I had a big time that afternoon. I did my very best Romper Room teacher impression. I used those stamps to pretend I was putting up a sun, some clouds, etc. and then I pretended to be dressing my little make-believe character in fun clothes suitable for a day of playing out in the sun just like I had seen it done on Romper Room. Before long, I had covered that entire trophy with Green Stamps so I was forced to move on and find something else to do with my day because those stamps wouldn't come off and then restick. Once I had filled up all of the available space, the game had to come to an end.
So I abandoned my weather picture and went on to my room to play something else. It wasn't very long before I heard my mom scream my name from the hallway. She had found my Green Stamp masterpiece and she was not amused. In fact, she pretty much lost all control of her sanity at that moment. She was so mad at me that I was sure she was going to kill me. Now, you have to understand that that trophy was sitting in the hall, not more than two or three steps from my bedroom door. That meant I had very little time to formulate an escape plan before she got to me and unleashed an unprecedented degree of angry wrath upon my butt with her belt. I had to think very quickly. She said she was going to whip me as she headed toward my room. I did the only thing I could do. I slammed my door in her face and pushed against it with all of my might. That was no small task because she was obviously stronger than me AND, because my room had it's own air conditioner in it, my door was always swollen so that it would never fully close. My fate was sealed the minute she headed my way but I still offered up a valiant effort in hopes of escaping the immiment spanking. Back in those days, spankings were actually beatings. We kids just didn't know it so it never entered our minds to tell anyone. What I was fixing to get was going to hurt and it was going to hurt a LOT. And for a long time.
So there I stood, all 30 or so pounds of me, with my back to the door, feet dug desperately into the floor, pushing with all of my might to keep my raging mother from opening that door and getting to me. She stood there at my door screaming, "Come out here! I'm going to show you why I'm going to spank you!" Even in that moment of absolute panic, I remember thinking how odd it was that she was telling me that she wanted to show me why I was in trouble. I KNEW why I was in trouble. I KNEW what I had done. I also knew what she was going to do to me for doing it so there was no way that I was going to willingly open that bedroom door. We wrestled several minutes before she finally prevailed. I got a spanking of epic proportions. I thought she was going to kill me over those stupid Green Stamps. The amount I wasted on that trophy probably amounted to a grand total of .75 cents but you would have thought I flushed a billion dollars down the toilet. I learned right then and there to never underestimate my mom's love of free coffee pots and toasters. I never touched those freaking stamps again.
Needless to say, I was probably the happiest person in town the day it was announced that the stamp company was going out of business.
A few years after the great Green Stamp Weather Picture incident of 66, I got a set of real Colorforms for Christmas. I LOVED those things SO much! And, remembering the "incident", I did actually try sticking them to the same trophy just to see if it would work but the magnetized shapes wouldn't stick to the glass.
I present that as Exhibit A in the case against all parents of the 60's and 70's who believed if you beat the hell out of your kids, they would learn their lessons and never make the same mistake twice. LOL
By the way, my mom was no monster or child abuser. Or at least, she wasn't an intentional child abuser. LOL All parents used belts and switches on their kids back then. We hated it and we rarely let the threat of such beatings stop us from doing something we really, really wanted to do, but we never thought ourselves abused. I have never and will never spank my children the way that Bernie and I were spanked but I don't harbor any hard feelings toward our parents. They did the best they knew to do at that time. They were just raising us the way they had been raised. Thankfully, by the time my generation got old enough to have kids, parents were taught different ways of dealing with disobedient children. And I've got to tell you that as a teacher, I certainly ran across some students who would have benefitted greatly from the kind of harsh punishments I received as a kid. Not all kids need that so I will never advocate it per se. But I do believe that laws should still allow for those kids who simply don't understand any other language, to have their spoiled little butts beaten off a time or two until they learn to accept the word "no" and learn some respect.